As many of you know we had a miscarriage in March, I know many of you have been praying for us and we are so happy to announce that we are expecting again! There is a long story to go along with this announcement that I have been wanting to write down for awhile so bear with me:)
After our miscarriage we wanted to try again right away but with PCOS my cycles can be very irregular plus Howie being in the hospital in May and vacations it just wasn't happening. Also for a couple of months we were of course still grieving and I was somewhat angry about some things that happened around that time. I was finally able to let that anger go and was much more at peace with everything but I still really wanted a baby and it wasn't happening.
So in August I decided to go to the doctor and see about getting some fertility help, my cycles at this point were really long and that was making things difficult. The dr went ahead and prescribed some medicine for me after doing a pregnancy test (which of course was negative). So excitedly I started taking the first medicine on that Thursday and Friday. Well that weekend happened to be a women's retreat with my church and also the day that our baby would have been due. That Saturday was much more difficult for Howie and I than either of us was expecting, especially being apart. That morning in tears I called Howie and asked him to come get me, I just couldn't handle it, of course being the amazing husband that he is he came right away. The ladies of course didn't want me to leave but they were just praying for me. We ended up going out to lunch and as we're waiting for our food I get a phone call from one of the ladies at the retreat and one of my closest friends, Hope, who asks me to come back to the hotel for a minute she had something to give me. I agreed and after eating we headed back, she met us outside and had written something for me and was just encouraging me to stay. I told her I just couldn't it was too hard. A few minutes after that the speaker at the retreat, who also happens to be Howie's cousin, came down to talk to me and pray for me. After all this I still just wanted to be with Howie and cry so we left.
We drove to the beach and took Kona(our dog) out there for the first time, drove around St. Augustine, had ice cream, and just spent time together. Before we left town we drove to the hotel and I really felt like I could stay. Just spending some time with Howie helped so much.
I walked into my room which I was sharing with my mother-in-law, Lori, sister-in-law, Brooke, and friend, Nicole. Lori was sitting in the room reading since it was still during our free time. I got a big hug (I'm usually not a hugger but she gave me no choice lol) I am so blessed to have married into Howie's family they are so good to me.
That evening's session had me in tears through most of it and during the afterglow (a time of prayer and worship) I ended up on my knees before The Lord and gave it all to Him, the miscarriage and trying for another baby. During that time I really felt him saying "trust me, not the doctors or medicine, Me". And I knew I wouldn't be taking any more of the medicine I had gotten.
That night we received verses that The Lord had put on the hearts of the women who had been praying for the retreat and each lady coming to it. Mine was Proverbs 24: 3,4 which says, "Through wisdom a house is built, and by understanding it is established; by knowledge the rooms are filled with all precious and pleasant riches."
So all this to say God is faithful! The Tuesday night after the retreat I had gotten up several times to use the bathroom which was weird to me so Wednesday morning I took a pregnancy test and finally saw 2 lines! The Lord was just waiting on me to surrender and I have an amazing testimony to show for it! Thank you for all the prayers!
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